A tape showing dead pop singer Michael Jackson engaged in sexual acts has been discovered hidden away in a black sack during searches of his rented Hollywood home.
Police officers who have seen the tape have to receive counselling and therapy to try and erase the comical images they had to endure watching. Some female officers literally pissed their pants laughing at the hideous freak show - and how he had sex.
Thankfully, no children were involved but detectives have not ruled out the identity of a small hairy little guy who Jackson engages in a sex act.
"It could be a very muscular hairy underage midget, but the more likely possibility is that it was just Bubbles the chimp", said Det. Jordie Chandler of the LAPD.