LOS ANGELES, CA - The Black Eyed Peas say they Remember the Time when they seemed Invincible, sitting atop the pop charts, but that's all HIStory.
Now, suddenly finding themselves unable to dethrone the recently deceased King of Pop from the top of the charts, they have announced the release of a Jackson tribute collection, Black Eyed Peas: The Chitlin' Circuit, and are eager to "get it started," according to will.I.am.
Many fans of the band say they are ready to Scream at the Off the Wall move, which they called "a shameless attempt" to "rob our beloved Michael" of the number one spot.
Jackson currently holds the number two and three positions as well, and the Peas are simply unable to Beat It, coming in a distant fourth in album sales.
Critics of the Peas' latest move note it comes shortly after the resurrection of a Glosterbury gig gone sour, when the lyrical legumes turned Londoners' early booing to wild cheers, resorting to a Thriller Jackson tribute set as PYT Fergie lied, "The U.K. is our second home."
The boos began once more when will.I.am took things just a little too far, receiving second degree scalp burns after allowing his hair to get too close to a pyrotechnic device while drinking a PepCi-cola.
Nevertheless, the Peas say they Won't Stop 'til They Get Enough, adding that they've Got to Be There in that top spot.
They apparently Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' immediately, and have reportedly hired John Landis to begin production on a 17-minute Kentucky-fried horror spoof video for their first single, a mashup called My Black or White Hump.
The video will reportedly contain what promises to be a controversial ending featuring band members sitting down to a silent breakfast of Cocopuffs and milk that turns into a fury of splattering cereal, shattering bowls, shouts, screams, gratuitous crotch-grabbing and fanny-stroking that only ends when a brisk wind bursts in through the kitchen window, blowing them out into the street.