Written by Bureau
Print this
Topics: Michael Jackson

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

image for Michael Jackson Not Father Of The Kids, According To Debbie Rowe

Now that Michael Jackson is dead and having two autopsies to be 100% sure, ex-wife and surrogate mother Debbie Rowe is no longer bound to the confidentially agreement he paid a lot of money to sign. So what does she do first thing? Revealing that Michael was not the biological father of the children.

She told a source in a sing-song:"I went to the medical fair, and they impregnated me there."

It was just like I impregnate my mares for breeding here. Just like I stick the sperm up my horse, this is what they did to me. I was Jackson's thoroughbred mare.
"But it wasn't Michael's sperm."

So how did their horsey romance come to such an untimely end? Debbie reportedly stated:

"We never had sex. He never wanted to live with me. That's why he bought me a house of my own. Just like stabling a mare. There was always 'my house' and 'his house'. I don't know if there were other mares or not.

The next delivery was very hard. My insides were all messed up and I was barren. As soon as he knew I couldn't have any more babies he didn't want anything to do with me. He took the kids. Put me out to pasture. The settlement was written up, and he just wanted me to be quiet so he paid me well. I'll have to give that to him."

Which was probably a good thing, because she reportedly said of the children:

"I never felt any attachment to them. I got paid for it, and I've moved on. I was never cut out to be a mother. I don't want these children in my life. My horses are my children."

(A friend of Michael's reportedly said that her "children" all look like her, from the back.)

How does she know it wasn't Michael's sperm, she didn't say. Maybe she will later because she apparently has a lot to say. Probably get paid well for that too.

Look for a book by her ghostwriter among the 50 or so that should be coming out soon.

P.S. Anyone out there donate any sperm a few years back?

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

6 7 12 18
76 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more