London, UK - Michael Jackson's double, Navi, the man who is considered to be the No. 1 Jackson impersonator in the world, is on a 'suicide watch' in 'The Priory', a private facility in London made famous when Susan Boyle lost her grip on things.
Originally Navi was to play Watford this evening, to coincide with the King of Pop's 'This Is It' comeback tour. As well, Navi was to act as Mr. Jackson's body double, a sort of decoy that the Jackson security contingent uses when he goes out in public.
Surpisingly, Navi has actually had surgical procedures to match Mr. Jackson's rather disturbing facial features, including a deep cleft in his chin and a removable nose piece. Since Mr. Jackson's death last week, Navi has therefore been in the rather peculiar spot of, firstly, having a face that nobody particularly enjoys looking at, or for that matter wearing, and secondly, looking overwhelmingly like someone who the vast majority of people think is dead.
Said Navi, "It was shocking. On Friday I went in to get my Fish 'n Chips take away, what I usually get when I'm in London, and everyone I looked at would literally run away, like they had seen a ghost or something. Small children were left sitting, balling their eyes out while their parents were running away down the alley, their arms flapping by their sides."
Medical personnel at the hospital have stated that Navi couldn't take this any longer and decided it was time to end his life. Luckily, a man who has decided to dedicate his life to looking out for people who are on the brink of ending it, happened to come across Navi at a crucial time.
A Mr. Piers Morgan stated that he saw this 'pathetically suicidal creature and dialed The Priory who sent around some men with 'funny nets'. It is unclear whether Mr. Morgan gets a commission off such incidents, but he nonetheless stated that he enjoys his job.