It's about time. The estate of Michael Jackson has finally issued a press release stating that it has commissioned the official "Michael Jackson Commerative Sunny Day Umbrella" in collaboration with Totes, the internationally known "rainy day" umbrella powerhouse.
As he modeled the umbrella, the estate spokesman told us, "This umbrella is absolutely breathtaking, with its hand carved plastic handle, black nylon material, and it's steel spokes. When used according to package directions, it will keep out 100% of UVA and UVB rays. I'm getting two of them, one for me and one for my 12 year old nephew. If you ever wanted to know what it felt like to be the "King of Pop", then this is a must have. Feel the glory by holding it yourself, or ask your entourage to do it for you."
"There will be a limited production of 100,000. Each umbrella is numbered and has the official "Estate of Michael Jackson" seal stamped on the handle. On the top of the umbrella, you will see a beautiful hologram that reflects Michael's first face, which will quickly transform to his most recent one. Made by adorable pre-teen boys from China. It also comes with a Certificate of Authenticity, signed by Bubbles the chimp."
When asked when and where these shady treasures will be made available to the public, we couldn't pin the spokesman down, but he responded, "Sometime within the next 2 hours, available on the Home Shopping Network for the amazing low price of $9.99. Two for $19.98. One free white glove for the first 1000 customers, so act soon. Money back guarantee. Not available in stores."