BBC TV presenter Jonathan Ross was said to be "in shock" this morning after it was announced last night that his resident house band, 4 Poofs And A Piano, are to go their own separate ways, citing 'musical differences' for the split.
The 4 Poofs, David Roper, David Wickenden, Ian Parkin and Stephen 'de' Martin, said in a statement last night, that the piano had decided to 'go it alone', having become fed up with the constant homosexual innuendo, and tired of being associated with four of the campest fags currently on TV.
The split is most distressing for Roper who, as the pianist, was probably the band member most closely-attached to the piano.
Last night's show was the final straw for the piano. Viewed by me this morning using modern trans-continental technology, it featured former British tennis legend, Tim Henman, who was visibly upset and embarrassed by the 4 Poofs when he made his entrance as Ross' star guest. He squirmed, as I would, when the 4 Poofs wore T-shirts with his face on it, and blew kisses at him.
The piano, meanwhile, characteristically raised its eyebrows and sighed.
It's not known what remedial action the 4 Poofs intend to take in time for next week's show, but, with a bit of luck, all four will meet with tragic ends in a bumming accident.