Written by Monkey Woods

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Topics: Michael Jackson

Friday, 26 June 2009

image for Michael Jackson NOT DEAD!
Mike: Not finished yet

There was confusion across the world this morning when, after it had initially been reported that superstar singer Michael Jackson had died after suffering a cardiac arrest at his Los Angeles home, HE APPEARED LIVE ON BBC TV LAST NIGHT!

Jackson had earlier been said to have expired in an LA hospital, but this was news to Andrew Neil, the presenter of the This Week show, who introduced the UK Commander in Afghanistan, to talk about the threat of potential cuts to the Army's budget after the next election.

Despite having been pronounced 'dead' only minutes before, General Sir Mike spoke at length about the need to maintain current levels of expenditure on the armed forces, saying that any kind of reduction would, undoubtedly, result in an increased threat to security in Britain, and could, potentially, place the lives of many millions of Britons at enormous risk.

General Jackson has appeared several times on the show, which also features Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott, and was surprised to hear of his own untimely demise, but assured viewers that:

"I will be around some time yet to deal with the Ragheads who would do us all harm."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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