Heaven, Universe - Enta'tainer Michael Jackson, also known as 'The King Of Pop', died yesterday afternoon in Los Angeles. He be believed to have succumbed to a heart attack although those details have yet to be released and we all know how thorough dese doctors gots'ta be.
Ennyway, a shawty while later, Mr. Jackson was seen enta'ing da Pearly Gates where he was greeded by some nice blonde haired angels and St. Peter. Well, Mr. Jackson got let in fine fast on account uh him rememberin' to snatch his Platinum American Express which helped to smooth da way.
He was then snatchn into a real fine hotel where he was told to go up to da pentcrib suite as dere was someone expectin' him dere. Michael went up to da pentcrib and knocked on da doo' which was da only doo' in da hallway on account uh da fact that dere was only one tenant on that floor.
The doo' jimmeyed and, lo and behold dere stood Mr. James Brown, da hardest wo'kin' dawg in show biz, o' at least that's what they knew him as befo'e he met his maker.
Now, however, Mr. Brown was just known as Herman, a name he still kin't figure out how he got. Dat might have something to do wid da fact dat dat was da only name tag they had at da reception desk when he checked in and as well, Mr. Brown had fo'gotten to snatch his Platinum American Express when he had passed away. Just shows ya' that 'you can't leave home without it' ah' guess.
Ennyway, dere they were, James Brown and Michael Jackson, way up dere in heaven, just starin' at each other. Finally one uh dem spoke.
"Well I'll be damned," said Mr. Brown. "It's Michael Jackson. ah' wasn't expectin' to see ya' here fo' anoda'...oh..thirty-five o' fo'ty years. How da heck ya' been Michael."
"ah' been doin' fine," said Michael. "..except 'til today that be. Had a bit uh indigestion. In fact, I've had dat since ah' got that free meal from Oprah. ennyway, all ah' know be ah' had a tremendous cramp, burped and then ~BaNg~ here ah' am."
"Funny ya' say that, Michael. That's exactly what happened to me," said James Brown. "ya' know ya' hear dese stories about people seeing white lights and hearin' voices uh angels when they die. ah' dunn't dig none uh that. Just one big ass burp."
"Ah' know," said Michael. "It's real disappointin'. So tell me. What's dat likes up here?
"Well," said James Brown, "...it's great. Since it's heaven, ah' kin do ennything ah' want. Ah' earned that right. That's why they call dat heaven. They wanna make da transition from earth to heaven real easy fo' ya' so ya' basically dig whatever wo'ldly goods ya' left behind. ah' got a couple fine wheelss in da garage, a fridge full uh phat food, and every night they send up some nice girlfriends fo' me to enta'tain."
"Well," said Michael. "ah' dunn't have enny wo'dly goods to leave behind. Ah' was bankrupt. Ah' couldn't drive, and ah' dunn't wheelse much fo' girlfriends folk."
"Oh dang, Michael. That means ya'll gots'ta stay in my guestroom."
And that was da moment James Brown learned he hadn't really been sent to Heaven after all.