Beverly Hills, CA - The story of Shawna Forde, the rogue Minutemen Civil Defense Corp gal who, acting as a defender of the U.S. border against illegal aliens, allegedly shot and killed Raul Flores and his daughter, is to be brought to the screen by Hollywood's greatest couple, Angelina Jolie and hubby Brad Pitt.
Mr. Pitt stated, "It's really a story that Angie and I can get into. We like nothing better than to present the underbelly of American society where a character of questionable sexuality is presented in a plot that calls for lots of car chases and explosions. That's always bankable and allows us to sustain a lifestyle that is totally out of reach to 99.999% of our viewing public and, quite frankly, is unbelievably ostentatious."
"Definitely," continued Ms. Jolie, "...I mean how many people do you know jump into a Bell Ranger jet helicopter on their estate in France accompanied by four bodyguards and two pilots just to grab a quart of milk from the local convenience store? That's ostentatious. Of course, we keep those details to ourselves."
"However it's true that Brad and I sort of limit ourselves to certain types of movies. It is about living up to the viewers expectations, which is fine. As long as they keep eating the food, why change the menu?"
Even though the film is in its preliminary stages, the couple say they have already run into a few snags.
"We had intended to do some cross-marketing with Nestle in order for us to obtain some side income; one of the perks of being international celebrities. We added to the character that she was an avid Toll House cookie baker, which sort of alludes to her 'All-American trailer trash' persona. Unfortunately, that was until Nestle had a recall because people started to end up in hospital with gastro-intestinal illnesses due to eating raw cookie dough, ha-ha-ha-ha" recalled Mr. Pitt.
Ms. Jolie continued, "..yes it's never wise to confuse filmgoers with an off-screen real-life storyline that involves corporate multinational greed culminating in an unforseen bacterial contamination resulting in multiple deaths. Product placement has its predicaments."
"Wow," responded Mr. Pitt, "...I was totally unaware you were capable of illiteration. Sweet!"
Ms. Jolie smiled confidently and began to stroke Mr. Pitt's thigh, and, abruptly, the interview was cut short.