Toronto, Canada - Perez Hilton, famed celebrity gossip columnist in Canada for a music industry awards show, was assaulted by part of his plated dinner. As a result, city employees, in support of the gay icon, have all gone on strike.
Said Perez Hilton, "I'm overwhelmed by the support I am getting as a result of this personal incident. I am truly humbled."
In the meantime, civil services, with the exception of transit, have all ground to a halt. One citizen complained, "What's this all about? No garbage pick-up because some foreigner gets assaulted by a pea? It's absurd." As well, gay and lesbian couples, having arrived to participate in Pride Week and booked to have civil ceremonies at the city hall, have been left standing at the alter.
"We can't get our civil union officiated," screamed one gay couple. "They've all walked out on strike. What are we supposed to doooooooooooo!!!"
More on this story here: Perez Hilton Assaulted By A Pea