Written by Stefano M. Stefano
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Friday, 19 June 2009

The bickering, chronically-depressed parents from the fake reality TV series, 'Jon And Kate Plus 8', which follows the trials and tribulations of a mismatched husband and wife with eight whining, crying, pooping little rugrats is undergoing a format change.

As the batteries wear down inside the monotone-speaking Jon android, and the personality characteristics of the increasingly abusive, deranged Kate android become more and more, well, abusive and deranged, it was decided to eliminate the portion of the show that dealt with the kids, and dwell solely on various ways for these two nut jobs to kill one another.

"Since the robot marriage has been revealed as a sham, and it's become increasingly difficult to listen to ten people screaming, whining, and bawling cry at the same time," said fake TV show producer, Brian McBrian, "what better way than to see both of them deal with their anger and frustration than to try and kill each other in various methods. Guns! Bombs! Lasers! That's our new fake reality! That's what fake audiences want to see! Now we just have to buy some weapons from former Vice-President Dick Cheney and we're good to go!"

So instead of watching the haggard fake android parents drag their screeching little offspring from place to place, wishing they'd never been 'born' (built in the Roswell's Area 51), with lame guitar music strumming in the background as they spout fake parenting advice and talk over each other, the new show will provide viewers a real fake show they can be proud of;

Eight ways for Jon and Kate to blow each other up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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