Only days after doctors told Paris Hilton to take it easy for awhile and try not to think of anything, especially anything stupid, they've come forward to say that tests show she is absolutely got to have a brain transplant as soon as possible and are checking for any MENSA people who aren't well.
"I ran a whole series of EEG's on Ms. Hilton's small brain during a recent checkup," said Dr. John Wayne Puninstavitch. "And I have to report that I did not see much in the way of activity...in fact, practically none."
A Doctor Ferango, a noted brain surgeon stated, "You see, Ms. Hilton has been coming in for booster shots for the past five years and they can only go so far."
Ferango then thoroughly explained that in a typical person's brain, the electrical impulses follow a somewhat standard traffic pattern based on his or her daily thoughts, reading, observations and routines. However, in Hilton's brain, he said there IS no discernible pattern at all, with the electrical impulses "zig-zagging all around and appearing extremely confused."
"It is true that Paris is very confused," Hilton's publicist, Bernard Howell III, told the press, "She's been ordered to refrain from thinking about anything. Frankly, I'm not sure it's going to help. She's always been this way since I've been with her, for over five years now."
Ms. Hilton then came out of the door of Dr. Ferango office and looked at everyone with a completely blank stare on her face.
"You just keep that up, Honey, and we'll call you the first thing when we hear from MENSA headquarters", stated Dr. Ferango. "Those people have great brains but some of them pop off every week or two because of the lack of activity."