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Topics: Woody Allen

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

image for Woody Allen Thinks Man Who Left Crap On Floor May Have Had Eboli Virus
"Is The Eboli Vius Out There Floating Around?

With new cases of the Eboli Virus coming to light by the day overseas, actor/director Woody Allen is afraid that the man who rushed by him Tuesday night and ran into the bathroom, may have had the Eboli Virus but is afraid to mention it to the authorities because he would be quarantined.

"I MUST complete this film", Allen has reportedly told a close friend.

Allen had already told the friend about the stranger that knocked on the door at night and rushed in and then back out, leaving a steaming pile of poop on the bathroom floor.

"I'm not feeling well", stated Allen according to the friend who left immediately and had shots. "I've got a high fever, severe headache, muscle, joint and abdominal pain, severe weakness, exhaustion, sore throat, nausea, dizziness, internal and external bleeding plus look at this fingernail I bit into the quick."

Meanwhile the friend has finked on Allen who reportedly has been brought in and quarantined in a New York City hospital.

"We do not know at this time if Mr. Allen is suffering from the Eboli Virus or just his usual neurotic self", stated hospital spokesperson, Allen Meredith.

"Nevertheless, we are taking all precautions, and are urging everyone to avoid allowing people to shit on the floor of their bathrooms. We need to verify that our sanitary sewerage hasn't been polluted by exposure to this terrible virus that may have been lodged in the man's fecal matter."

Until the potential Eboli Virus is better controlled and understood, Meredith suggested that New York residents should shit in the their back yard and remain calm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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