Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: David Letterman

Monday, 15 June 2009

image for "The Vagina Monologues" comes to David Letterman's rescue from NOW?
"I feel the world for young girls is safer now that NOW has taken on the likes of David Letterman. Don't you?'

New York, New York - Breaking ranks with NOW and the Yah-Yah Sisterhood, "The Vagina Monologues" will now perform their controversial scene as originally written involving the rape of a young 13-year-old girl (since revised to age 16) by an older woman in a scene from the play called: "The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could".

"Looking back, we regret tampering with the original artist's vision of the play by changing the age requirement of the young girl from 13 to 16 just to satisfy community standards, or good taste," said a producer of the show. "As true feminists, we should have stood our ground. But thankfully we can make up of that now by supporting David Letterman."

The audience will recognize the not so subtle support for David Letterman as the actress portraying the rapists will be wearing a high school letterman jacket in the newly revised version of the play.

"The scene, some critics say, crime scene," said a producer. "Will take place in the young girls room, while she's watching the 'David Letterman Show."

The same one featuring Letterman's now infamous Sarah Palin joke about her underage daughter, and a baseball player from the New York Yankees. The musical score accompanying the stage play will be arranged by Paul Shaffer, as well.

"Paul will perform a special rendition of Sawyer Brown's 'Thunder Bay' during the scene," said a producer. "Oh don't worry. It's all tastefully done because there are no men involved."

Producers insist that their statutory rape scene differs from David Letterman's statutory rape jokes in that theirs do not promote statutory rape of underage girls by men.

"Only womyn," said producers.

"We don't see ourselves as being hypocritical at all for going after David Letterman," said a spokesman for NOW. "Just like we don't see the decision of the producers of 'The Vagina Monologues' to reinstate the original rape scene of a 13-year-old girl by an older woman as conflicting with rape awareness day on V-Day either. Or the producers even breaking ranks with us for that matter. Rather, we see it as clinching our ranks shut uniting womyn against men. And especially against one David Letterman."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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