Written by Briant
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Topics: Bob Dylan, fans

Tuesday, 6 July 2004

image for Bob Dylan: Neo Con Album due out soon!
Dylan pays tribute to John Wayne!

Once again Bob Dylan is set to confound his critics and fans alike with the release of his new album.
The veteran protest singer has recorded 'Ballad of the Green Berets' with backing vocals by Toby Keith and The Dixie Chicks (they recorded their parts in separate studios.) Dylan has also recorded 'Okie from Muskogee', and 'Universal Coward.' The latter song was an 'answer' song by Jan Berry to the hit 'Universal Soldier' by Buffy St. Marie, which was also recorded by Donovan, who reportedly caddied for Dylan when he was playing golf on his current tour in Scotland, UK. Donovan was once considered to be the 'British' Bob Dylan, but is now working as a 'Wedding Singer' for Joan Collins, Liza Minnelli and Britney Spears.

Amongst other tracks which will infuriate Dylan's fans
are the little known ' The Minute Men are turning in their graves', a Harlan Howard song recorded by Stonewall Jackson, and 'Money'(That's what I want!) the Barratt Strong hit made familiar by The Beatles.

Dylan continues to be controversial with his suggestion for peace in the Middle East. In the song 'Relocation Blues', he suggests Israel should be towed away from its moorings and anchored ninety miles off the coast of New York. The singer also suggests Israel should be 'twinned' with Cuba.
Dylan may be nominated for the Nobel Prize in 2006.

A brand new song written by Dr. Dylan is called 'John Wayne! Where are you now?' Bob tells the story of the super patriotic Wayne against the backing vocals of The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's listing of all his films since 'The Big Trail' made in 1930. Bob says that he always loved 'The Duke' and wanted to be just like him when he was a boy. Dylan's dream was to be just as fast on the drawl as Wayne was, which may explain why Bob's voice has changed once again on this track. He sounds more hoarse than usual!

Another controversial song is likely to be 'Flat bottomed girls', a re-working of the Queen song which is a 'tie in' with Bob's new contract with FiFi's of Hollywood. The song promises curves like J Lo's for 'flat bottomed girls.' Lines include 'I love you but, you aint got no butt!' and 'Get to the gym, if they'll let you in!' Audtions are being held for the 'before and after' models with Calista Flockhart and Kirsty Alley being tipped by insiders for the album cover.

Dylan's people are reported to be locked in talks with Ray Bradbury about the use of the title 'Fahrenheit 7/11' which critics say promotes obesity in supermarkets, resulting in some people being unable to fit into their cars. They can be seen reading copies of 'The Atkins Diet' as they while away their time living in the car park. Asked for a comment, Dylan reportedly said 'Huh?' He was ushered away by two men. Witnesses said they were wearing George Bush and Tony Blair masks.
Michael Moore is said to have filmed the incident and
plans to include it in his new film due out in early November 2004.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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