With the announcement that Margaret Mountford, Sir Alan Sugar's trusty sidekick invigilator on "The Apprentice" is not taking part in next year's series due to going back to school to study papyrus, it has just been revealed that Britain's Got Talent finalist Susan Boyle will be stepping into her place.
Well known for not previously being well known, Susan Boyle is dashing hot foot into Primark to update her wardrobe, although advice from her agent suggested that IKEA might be a better place to buy a new wardrobe. Damart have already expressed interest in sponsoring her clothing, while Polyfilla have declared they might sponsor her make-up.
Sir Alan was said to be delighted with the news.
He said that Susan brings to the table with her a certain "je ne sais qua", although in fairness, he continued, he though nobody knew her "je ne sais qua".
He concluded by saying that she was Scottish, could sing and throw tantrums, so what more could any big-headed, loud-mouthed, boastful potential apprentice wish for.