Townsend Tennessee residents are disheartened and alarmed that the town's local pest and American Idol first round loser, Clemmie Cockerell failed to win the singing competition on pity alone so they can have "a little peace and quiet around these parts".
Clemmie has already written home and told her mama to be waiting at the Little Pigeon River Bridge for the taxi cab from Knoxville.
"Oh have mercy on us all, that fat gal will be at that Japanese Karaoke outside all summer long with the mike turned up" stated Homer Fletcher.
"And here I go back to Dr. Salmon, Ear, Nose & Throat, especially the ear part", added Joe Don Garland.
"You'd think that after that Cowell guy told her he's sorry they were taking off her cafe, she'd have taken the hint", said Wanda Jean Bletcher. "Personally, I'd rather hear old Betsy anytime.
"Oh she'll definitely be out there because those Indians from the casino over the mountains in North Carolina will finance it because they're afraid she'll come over there", replied Fletcher.
"For another thing, we ran those Cherokees off from here or Washington did."
"Well Fletcher, the dang government drove us out of the park so they could make money off tourists", added Joe Don.
"Everybody quiet now, here she comes and she's crying."
"Oh I missed you all so much, especially you Joe Don, I thank I missed you most of all. And I've written thirteen new song, 12 about you and me."
"That's good, Clemmie, but I better get home. My brother died while you were away and I need to go to Texas for the summer."