Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan, lover of teen vampire Edward Cullen, tonight lashed out at writers of spoofery and related antics because 'my dad does it too'
The teen queen claimed that anything with teen heartthrobs names on it attracted an irrational number of views, and served principally to blow more hot air into over the hill writers' already overinflated egos.
Stewart alleged that contributors to satirical websites, like her dad, were wasting their lives writing total shit, and that such writers ought to grow up and get a life.
"It's like, really pathetic, you know?" Stewart told us. "These people sit hunched over computer terminals spinning their own brand of bullshit and getting orgasmic because their story got, like, three hits. They need to get a life, do deals with magazines, go out on the town looking pretty, get photographed a little. And like buy a small dog to keep in their handbag."
We asked Stewart what she thought about present day celebrities and she told us:
"Some of them are okay, some of them aren't. But I've got more time for Osama Bin Laden than I have for my dad. Running around hiding in caves has got to be more energizing than writing bullshit about teen queens. I mean, let's face it, Miley Cyrus is never gonna give my dad a blow job. Osama Bin laden might. He must be getting desperate by now."
Throughout this interview, Twilight star Rob Pattinson did little other than smile and tell us that he he couldn't wait to see Osama again.
More when we escape the confusion we seem to be surrounded by.