FOX News, the world's leading television news channel in the world, has made an impassioned plea before members of the United States House and Senate, telling them to commence military action against North Korea.
"Remember, people have grown tired and just don't listen when you mention Iraq or Afghanistan", pleaded Greta Van Susteren, spokesperson for FOX News. "It's a total win-win situation."
"On your side, it would rid the whole world of a flat-headed evil dictator that threatens to destroy the world."
"On our side, boy would that really boost our ratings!"
According to inside sources, Fox News Channel has been struggling lately since the Swine Flu quit bringing in viewers so they have shushed it up, but plan to hit it hard in September with, "Swine Flu, Will You Be One of Ten Million Victims?"
With the exception of the Somali pirates, viewer numbers have been way down from their peak in 2008 with all the presidential news.
It's gotten so bad that correspondent Geraldo Rivera reportedly has been forced to tell bogus but "no way of checking" news stories, something that completely honest man said he'd never do.