Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 30 May 2009

image for Hollie Steel Disqualified From Britain's Got Talent
Even Ant and Dec were at it!

Hollie Steel, the 10-year-old crybaby, who bawled her way into the nation's hearts with her stunning performance on Britain's Got Talent last night, has been disqualified from the competition, after she tested positive for several banned substances.

Miss Steel had earlier made a right Pig's Ear of her attempt to sing the Sound Of Music favourite, Edelweiss, and had run screaming from the stage as the audience launched into a cacophony of booing.

Hollie was saved by the judges who let her perform for a second time later in the show after the audience had gone home, along with recorded applause.

Later, though, Hollie was given the bad news that her Urine Sample contained traces of the banned drugs Sympathetidrone, Pathetidrone and the performance enhancer Secondchancadril.

Several members of the audience also tested positive for Gulliblobulin.

WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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