Written by Ricardo Fromage

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Topics: Jordan, Peter Andre

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

image for Pete sells arse to pay for divorce from Jordan
Well toned

Peter Andre, the sexy singer with the toned abs and impossibly thick hair is desperately trying to raise the money to pay for his divorce from Jordan, the one time, model, actress, singer author, fund raiser, horse rider, fashion icon, binge drinker and saint.

Apparently, the pre-nuptial agreement stated clearly that she is entitled to half of his assets not the other way round. Unfortunately, Peter has no assets apart from his good looks and his body. He is now forced to use these on the grim streets of North London dressed up in a garish red and white outfit in a desperate attempt to lure punters into parting with their hard earned cash.

We spoke to Peter outside a tube station where he was plying his trade 'Yes, it's true' he said 'I've got no chance of making a record, so I am reduced to selling Arsenal merchandise on the streets around the Emirates Stadium. It's a tough sell but there are enough people round here who like the Arse to make it pay'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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