Written by Khadija
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Tuesday, 26 May 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent - 'Glad Jamie Pugh lost cos he gots on my bristols' says tosser Amanda!
'Jamie Pugh gets on my tits and should be thrown to lions' says Amanda!

Loopy- too- big- for- her- shoes Amanda Holden, 43 told a bum-rag newspaper she thought that pizza delivery driver Jamie Pugh had not been "genuine" during his performance of "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables and said that she wished that she had not voted him through to the semi-finals.

The misery sodden judge said: "He got on my rather tasty knockers and I didn't think he was genuine. I didn't believe his emotion and I hated his voice. He sounded like a car starting. I voted for him anyway because I was trying to be nice, but I cannot take it any more. I am sick of being nice I am getting old and less easy on the eyes- and I pissed off with the world. I will not sit here and allow some cheese on toast man to stand in front of me getting fame- you hear me. If you wanna hear singing listen to me."

The judge who was once married to Les Dennnis and has appeared in her underwear on many occasions added "He's just a very weak Paul Potts. I didn't like it. However I was not trying to influence the public at all by making my feelings known beforehand. Who listens to me?" said the judge hitching up her skirt and unbuttoning her blouse.

Her bile-ridden comments have sparked complaints from fans of Jamie Pugh. As she announced her opinions before the competition -they view this as trying to sway the public with her influence, power and ageing knockers.

As Jamie performed on monday night semi-final of BGT, Amanda 51 had enough of Jamie getting on her breasts -which can be seen featured in sexy lingerie on many an internet site. She buzzed enthusiastically as the singer belted out "The Impossible Dream."

An inside source said " I also thought I saw a brick in her hand - it may have been the light, but she was holding onto something"

Mrs Gladys Higgenbotham from Slough said " I love Jamie and while he was singing Amanda not only buzzed like her life depended on it- she seemed to be bored shitless, tilting her head from side to side and humming as the poor man sang. I could swear at one point she put on a pair of headphones and started flicking through an underwear magazine, while chewing bubble gum. When that lovely Mr Pugh finished singing, Simon had to prod her in the knockers to look up. She is a friggin disgrace".

Angry fans marched to the home of Les Dennis this morning and demanded to know why he had married Holden, thus inflicting her sour face and toss-pot disposition on the public.

Dennis looked glum and stated "She may look weak, but she's a strong lass and swears and fights like a docker. Please go away now if you don't- she'll round-house kick me within an inch of my life".

Amanda was seen this morning in Hyde Park jogging wearing a 'I hate Jamie Pugh' t-shirt, while wearing her crown and using her sceptre to thrash bystanders.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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