Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 26 May 2009

image for Esther Rantzen To Stand Against Joanna Lumley In Luton
Ah well, that's life!

There was great excitement in Luton, for once, today as former TV celebrity Esther Rantzen confirmed she WILL be standing as a candidate in Luton at the next parliamentary election. Miss Rantzen, 112, will be representing the newly-formed That's Life party.

One of her opponents in the constituency currently lorded-over by Margaret Moran, is Joanna Lumley who, with her miniature Gurkha army, will be campaigning on behalf of her own Absolutely Fabulous party, and is confident of a major publicity boost.

Lumley, 91, said:

"Oh yes, I expect that my flagging career will very much benefit from this cynical act."

Miss Rantzen, an unpopular participant on last year's I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here in the Australian jungle, who was evicted rather earlier than she would have wanted, should probably have realised by now, that she is not as loved as she thinks, and that the electorate in Luton see her only for her 'novelty value'.

Asked by our reporter for a comment on this, Miss Rantzen was unable to speak to us, as her massive teeth got in the way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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