Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

image for Celebrity Big Brother Danielle Lloyd Gets Beaten Up For Being A Bigmouth
Danielle: Please leave the nightclub!

Danielle Lloyd, the former Celebrity Big Brother slapper, whose performance in the show brought Britain to the brink of war with India, has been beaten up by angry clubbers on a night out in London.

Lloyd, the ex-girlfriend of ex-Tottenham footballer Teddy Sheringham, and current girlfriend of current Tottenham footballer Jamie O'Hara - see a pattern developing? - was out with 'friends' at the Crystal Nightclub in the West End.

She was pushed onto a full table of drinks by two women, and suffered a serious injury to her mouth, when she was forced to shut it.

The blabbermouth is widely thought to have been the person responsible for encouraging the outrageous racist behaviour of the late Jade Goody in the 2007 CBB show, in which she constantly 'loaded the bullets' for Goody to fire at Indian model Shilpa Shetty, the eventual winner.

Two women were arrested at the nightclub, and bailed until July.

One of them told reporters after her release from the police station:

"It was her fault Jade got such a bad press. Now she's out lapping it up with another footballer. She makes me sick! The dozy bitch!"

A claim that the incident was just an organised 'publicity stunt' for the upcoming new series of Big Brother, which starts on Channel 4 at 8pm on 4th June, are thought to be entirely accurate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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