Written by Charles Letterman
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Monday, 25 May 2009

image for Ant and Dec voted off Britain's Got Talent

In a sensational programme last night, presenters Ant and Dec were voted off Britain's got talent in favour of an incontinent granny and a group of dancers performing in gimp masks.

The red hot favourites for the show only polled 10% of the vote, while the self styled 'Gimp boys' were the runaway winners with 45%.

A tearful Ant, real name Anthony Michael Grade, said "This wasn't supposed to happen. We are the nation's favourite entertainers, and ITV assured us that precautions had been taken to ensure our progress through to the final."

Commenting on the programme, Newcastle United manager Alan Shearer said, "This is undoubtedly the worse thing to happen to Newcastle today. All I have been able to think of over the past eight weeks is Ant and Dec performing in front of the queen - this is probably the lowest point of my career.

Ant and Dec have confirmed that they will relaunch their careers in the summer, when they will be among the contestants in Celebrity Big Brother 116.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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