Admitting that the History Channel is running low on Adolph Hitler stories, never-the-less, appearing next week on Wednesday night, The Secret of Hitler's Underwear will be made known to one and all.
"Well, for one thing, they were made to be bullet-proof and back in those days, that meant a lot of heavy pieces", stated his nephew, Donald Hitler in a flashback interview from 1967. That's why Uncle Adolph or that's what we called him until he insisted on that Herring and Heiling stuff and had once had Uncle Lou's mouth washed out with tap water from the toilet."
"That's actually where I saw him and knew he wore armor. He was stumbling around trying to pull up his pants and fell out the front door of the outhouse."
"That armor was also what gave him that funny walk if you'll look at the old videos. His grinds were chaffed really bad and that also explained the awful grimace and all that arm waving while making a speech. He was trying to keep that armor up high and not let it slide down into his grinds."
The History Channel will also show some rare photographs of Hitler on the ground and apparently couldn't get up for the heavy armor.
Was the special protective underwear similar to a garment worn by Mormons?
Donald Hitler said no, but was something his mother made for him while he was growing up and being atomic wedgied by some bigger kids in his class.
Next month, please remember to tune in for "Hitler's Heiling" actually coming from constantly slapping Goerring and other on the forehead, to make them think.