Written by The SSaint
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Topics: American Idol

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

A stunned silence was observed here on Tuesday night, when Simon Cowell, the chief judge on the hugely popular reality show, American Idol got enraged and stormed out the studio during a live broadcast.

This followed after one of the contestants gave a performance, not entirely unlike a cat being skinned alive, after which three of the judges, being Paula Abdul, Kara DioGuardi and Randy Jackson told the contestant, who will remain unnamed, that they thought the performance lacked some lustre, but that they liked his overall image.

Simon then replied, saying that the other three judges must have had their i-pods over their ears, because the performance he heard was so excruciating, that he almost phoned PETA to have the contestant put in a shelter, along with the other howling animals.

Paula then told the contestant not to mind Simon, as he was being stupid, which was when all the action started.

Simon turned beet red and said:

"Stupid? You are calling me stupid? Have you seen the clothes that you are wearing? Have you heard the rubbish you tell contestants every night? You don't even know half the words you use!"

He also said that America was an idiocracy and Paula the main candidate to be president, after which he stormed off.

After the show Paula was heard saying, "I am not stupid, and I do know big words, like exaspirating, and conundrum, and claviculum, Simon is just a big Doo-Doo Bird!"

I don't know about all the readers out there, but this reporter can't wait for next week's episode!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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