Written by Brendon Humperdink
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Tuesday, 19 May 2009

It was revealed today that soap opera Coronation Street will become embroiled in it's very own terror plot this coming September.

A spokesman said that it will add much needed vigour to a very tedious show.

Local fuddy duddies Ken Barlow and Norris decide to convert religions, because 'Christianity is sooo out of fashion'. Unfortunately for the residents of Coronation Street, they decide to become Islamic fundamentalists after they discover that they will get 40 virgins in heaven if they kill themselves in the name of Allah.

In a quick snippet of the forthcoming storyline, Norris is seen saying: "Eee, I suppose we both need a good shag!"

In the preview, Deirde Barlow is seen to be wearing a vale, although much to the belief that she too has converted to Islam, Ken insists this is not the case.

"I just couldn't stand that fucking four eyed face gurning at me all the time."

The sneak preview ends with Ken and Norris walking in to the Rovers Return wearing school bags packed full of explosives. Ken screams and shouts 'Ha ha, I'm not such a boring bastard after all!' while the pair of them desperately pull their chords in a vain attempt to carry out their terrorist attack.

Will Ken and Norris finally do the decent thing and kill themselves, or will their traditional moral values get the better of them at the last minute? Find out this September.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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