She's renowned for wearing the most outrageous costumes in the business, but nobody ever really knew why. Until I had the bottle to reveal the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
She's got a face like a slapped arse!
Lady Gaga, chanteuse par merde, performer of the classic pop hit 'POKER FACE' a performance during which her voice was at no point NOT electronically enhanced has empowered women the world over to believe that talent, singing ability, or even the ability to look a bit nice have no bearing whatsoever on musical success.
Gaga frequently sports outrageous costumes, and talks utter bollocks, looking like anything from a market stall to a space odyssey, but it's all just to detract from the real issue, which is, with your POKER FACE, and your stupid outfits and your total lack of any discernible talent, you still manage to look like you've been sparring with Mike Tyson circa 1987.
Gaga was voted 'Most Annoying Talentless Twat Of The Year' for the second year running at the Barrow in Furness Talentless Twat Awards 2009.
Because she bears more than a passing resemblance to a bloodhound. With its face ironed by a particularly sadistic heavy handed bastard.
Watch her face next time she's on TV - she'd make A robber's dog look beautiful.
Then send her an outrageous costume to detract from the unpleasant reality of what a pug ugly no talent cow she really is.
POKER FACE MY ARSE
That's definitely it.