Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: California, Running

Friday, 2 July 2004

image for Wild Biker Theatens Malibu!
"I sure hope to see him again some time!"

Posh neighborhoods in Malibu California have been disturbed by a motorcyclist running the streets at high speed and frightening local residents. "It just started yesterday", says Thomas Schultz. "This completely wild young man on a motorcycle was just whizzing up and down all the streets. He nearly hit two small children. I think he was riding one of those Harley Davidson motorcycles. I don't think it was a Honda. It sure was loud!"

Lt. Horace Toth of the California Highway patrol said," We have several units out looking for this speeder, and we plan on giving him a big ticket when we catch him. We've had trouble before with these types: they come on a Greyhound into Hollywood thinking that they're going to get into the movie pictures, and then when no studio will touch them, these guys will buy any old bike and a leather jacket and start cruising all over California making trouble. You know how misguided some of these boys can be at that age... wild! Just plain wild!"

Just outside town, at the back of Hot Sam's Biker Bar, a completely wasted biker chick said that she met the stranger and rode on the back of his bike just last week. "He said his name was Marion or something; he was real good looking. That Schultz guy don't know what he's talking about---that wasn't no damned Harley. It was a Triumph---and that Marion rode me for three straight days! I sure hope to see him again some time!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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