FLINT, MICH. --- Liberal film-maker Michael Moore and Conservative talking head Bill O'Reilly announced today their intention to tie the knot in Boston, Massachusettes, on July 4th, 2004.
"It transcends partisan politics." Moore said. "It's not about being a democrat or a republican, it's about being openly and patently gay."
Moore added: "And Bill's as gay as they get, if you know what I mean."
Moore's new film, Fahrenheit 9/11, has gained publicity for it's controvertial attack on the Bush administration, and the Moore team sees this latest move as simply stirring the pot.
"I'm glad I could convert him." Moore said.
Moore's wife/producer, was sanguine about the whole affair. "I've known for years, of course." She said in an interview Friday. "But what can I do? Mike still loves me, I know, but he loves the idea of gay marriage more, I guess."
Bill O'Reilly released a statement through FoxNews friday afternoon.
O'Reilly was unavailable for comment the first 23 times we called, but finally picked up the phone and told us to perform certain anatomical impossibilities.