There was a surprise in the world of show business today, when a homosexual man won the Eurovision song contest. Russian Alexander Rubcock sang his song "I'm a fairy" for Norway, and was universally panned by music critics for his appallingly smug performance. However, he successfully cornered the two audiences who control the bulk of the Eurovision votes: gay people, and Russians.
The annoying chimp was born in Belarus, and has lived in Norway since he was 5. He beat the Icelandic jailbait Johanna by over 100 points in the final vote.
Eurovision is renowned for its homophobia, and it has been suggested that gay people will be banned from voting in Eurovision contests in future to prevent such scandal from happening again.