Written by Seamus Nottrew
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Friday, 15 May 2009

image for Ireland Out Of Eurovision Song Contest 2009
The Ukraine entry

Seven-times Eurovision winners Ireland have failed to qualify for the final of the Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow. The country's entry was not among the 10 successful nations in Thursday's semi-final, which included Denmark, Ukraine, Estonia and Greece.

Irish spokesman Doolin Dingle told us they had changed strategy after last year. "In 2008 we tried comedy with Dustin The Turkey which failed miserably. So this year common sense prevailed and we went for hard rock. Our entry this year was The Blarney Stone."

Rather than being the name of a band put together for the contest, it turns out they did indeed enter the large block of bluestone normally found on the battlements of Blarney Castle.

"Sadly rock music was not in the stone's reportois and we kissed goodbye to our chances for another year" lamented Dingle, before lifting the stone back on to a wheelbarrow for the journey back to Blarney.

Ironically the success of the night was Estonia.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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