Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 14 May 2009

image for Jonas Brothers To Star In Remake of Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night"
Penny Lane, the inspiration for the '67 Beatles song. The street name has since been changed to Nickel Nook.

WYCKOFF, New Jersey - The Jonas Brothers have just signed to star in the remake of the 1964 Beatles movie, A Hard Day's Night.

The film's director Francisco W. Hoopitus stated that he paid United Artist $30 million for the film rights.

When asked about the fact that there were four Beatles and only three Jonas Brothers, Hoopitus replied that he had signed little six-year-old Jonah Jonas to appear as the fourth musical Jonas member.

Older brother Kevin said that their little brother Jonah is extremely talented. He learned all of the words to the Iron Butterfly song "In A Gadda Da Vida" at the age of only 11 months while still in his crib.

He can also sing every song that Barbra Streisand ever recorded. Brother Joe, remarked that Jonah is very versatile at playing the twelve-string guitar, the keyboards, and the harmonica, as well as the glockenspiel, the sitar, and the tuba.

Nick added that little Jonah also plays a mean kazoo and in fact last year was named 'The Best Kazoo Player East of Kalamazoo."

When Jonah was asked what he felt he was going to like the best about filming the movie with his older brothers he put down his lollipop and replied, "I am really so looking forward to getting out of the house."

Zsa Zsa Feltrinelli, Jonah's manager and babysitter stated that even though musically Jonah is way beyond his six years of age, physically he is still only six, so he will definitely be needing a stunt double especially in the scene were the boys sky dive out of a helicopter and land in the Thames River.

Feltrinelli said that the director called her up and expressed to her how amazed he was at how fast little Jonah learned his dialogue.

Hoopitus said that Jonah actually learned his lines quicker than Tom Hanks learned his part in Forest Gump and even three times quicker than Kate Winslett learned her lines in The Titanic.

Z.Z. as the boys call her also revealed that little Jonah is very proud of the fact that he can already pee farther than any of his three older brothers.

Kevin and Joe don't really mind that too much, but Nick is reportedly quite pissed.

In a related story. The brothers have in fact verified that Wynonna Judd will be touring with them this summer. One of their roadies said that he overheard one of the brothers referring to the tour as The Jonas and The Whale Tour.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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