Family and friends of the couple say they hate to see it happen but knew it one day would come to this, as Cher's right breast has split with her left breast.
"I hardly even recognize her anymore", the right breast told the National Inquisitor Saturday. "She used to be my greatest friend as we hung out together at all the right places, went to parties, even jumped up and down when Cher was exercizing and taking care of herself, but just look at her!"
"Me?", stated the left breast. "It wasn't ME who had the wart that started all this stuff. That little wart was hardly recognizable it was so small and speaking of small, YOU were pitiful before that first operation! You hung sidewise!"
"Listen Honey, Sonny LOVED my leaning look. He always felt me first!"
"Well, it was because of that first operation and that guy botching it and Cher suddenly revealing her new bigger self to Sonny and we were cross-eyed that made her completely lose it for awhile."
"Why don't you two quit airing out all your dirty laundry to the press so everybody in the world will know. You're both nothing but a couple of fakes!"
"Fakes? You dare call US fakes, you asshole?"