Written by Bluebella
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Topics: Whoopi Goldberg

Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Whoopi Goldberg's much anticipated TV comeback
The baby sparrow can no longer hold his own head up and needs 24 hour supervision

Hollywood, CA - Dreadlocked comic actress Whoopi Goldberg has announced she will be making a much anticipated comeback - on America's Next Top Model.

Goldberg told our sources that she tried out for the latest series of ANTM Bicycle 14. She was delighted but not surprised when she was chosen out of 3,000 hopefuls to be part of the final 12. Goldberg apparently did have to falsify her age to be accepted on the show, which had a limit of 25, but knew that once Tyra and the other judges saw her they would realise the age lie was justified. She was right.

Goldberg admitted she is nervous and scared that the panel insist she cut her famous dreadlocks off, which she has been growing for 23 years. The locks have only been washed once and it is believed a family of sparrows is living in the crown area.

Tyra Banks, host of the successful TV show, has said there is something unique and special about Goldberg and that she has the kind of face you only come across once every 79 years, much like Halley's Comet appearance to earth.

Bookies have placed Goldberg as the odds on favourite winner of the show and Cover Girl is already said to be writing the script of their newest commercial with her in mind.

Goldberg has already survived two assassination attempts by jealous finalists of the show, which sadly resulted in one of the baby sparrows being left permanently brain damaged. Strict security now surrounds Goldberg's private room while round-the-clock care is being provided for the baby sparrow.

Whoopi Goldberg is 59.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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