Written by Burt Bondy
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Topics: Lily Allen

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Lilly has shocked fans by launching a "surprise" verbal attack on fellow geniuses Cheryl Cole and Victoria Beckham, only weeks following the release of her hugely exciting and ground-breaking new album!

Asked what she thinks of former toilet attendant Cheryl Cole, Lilly hollered: "She is a bitch, I've seen her kicking dogs and putting sweet wrappers back in the box rather than the tin! She's in it for the money, not like me and Jim Morrison, she's a scheming bitch!"

Cheryl was not the only one on the sharp end of punk's new stalwart Lilly's tongue: "Victoria Beckham is a monster, she should be locked up and flogged, along with all the other headlne-craving, desperate half-wits! But it's not all about them, did I mention I had a new Album out?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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