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Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for Susan Boyle (Britain's Got Talent) career looks over before it starts
Susan Boyle's number 1 fan

For Susan Boyle, the storming Britain's Got Talent contender, it looks like her career is over before she even gets to the finals.

In a frank interview - it was with a chap called Frank from the BBC Manchester - she admitted that she can only sing live and doesn't actually know how to mime or lip-synch to a song.

This devastating news means that her ambition to be up with the stars such as Spritney Fears, Mad Donnah and the Lice Girls could be shafted, in a rather virginal way, before it begins.

When Britain's Got Talent goes on tour later in the year, the producers have said that they simply can't accommodate someone who can only sing live.

A spokesman for Psycho, Simon Cowell's record label, said that it was vital that any finalists were able to mime to their resultant records. It seems that in Susan's case, unlike Tom Jones and the flinging of underwear onto the stage, there is the liklihood of prosthetic limbs, walking sticks and even wheelchairs being thrown onto the stage, and it is vital that nothing impedes the progression of the song being sung.

It is for this reason that the company insist all finalists mime.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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