Written by Bureau

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Friday, 1 May 2009

image for Rush Limbaugh Attacks Obama
"Half My Brain Tied Behind My Back"

In his daily rant, Talk Radio's #1 Mouthpiece, Rush Limbaugh has launched into President Barack Obama once again this Friday morning.

Saying, "Obama has the backbone of a squid", Limbaugh especially attacked Obama's plans to withdraw early from Iraq according to Limbaugh's loyal listeners who call themselves, Ditto Heads.

"Doesn't this teleprompter turd know that early withdrawal always leaves your partner frustrated and angry?", Limbaugh was reported to have said on today's show.

"Our Iraqi friends won't be able to sleep with all that frustration. You need to finish what you start or they'll go looking elsewhere for satisfaction! They'll kick off the covers and go elsewhere and there we'll be, having only done a halfway job. Who will want us after that? Who will respect a job 90% done. There always needs to be a big finish!"

One caller got in a word about Obama going into Afghanistan with more force but Limbaugh farted right through the caller's voice and proceeded to give him a tongue lashing ending with the words, "mealy-mouthed pervert!"

Limbaugh finally stated, "In conclusion, any time there's a premature pull-out, the only one who will ever support your actions in the future will be the pope!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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