Written by Bluebella
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Gay, Elton John, straight

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

image for Elton John is straight - ex reveals all
This is what Elton looks like at home claims Anthejets. The wigs & costumes are all to cover the truth.

Buckinghamshire, England - "Elton John is straight" that's the startling statement, Elton John's ex-boyfriend Benny Anthejets has made to Gaytime is Goodtime Gossip Magazine.

Anthejets spilled the beans on his sordid affair with John back in the eighties and why they broke up. Anthejets also claims John named his hit song "Benny and the Jets" after him to stop him telling the truth to the world. Just last week the copyright expired, giving Anthejets the legal right to speak publicly.

"We broke up because he's a fucking lad" said Anthejets "I laugh when I see him prancing around with that boyfriend of his, or "husband" as he so calls him under the new British law. He is SOOOO straight, why that man is straighter than a ruler or similar measuring device!"

Anthejets said he found John in bed with women quite frequently, but would act horrified when Anthejets confronted him with the truth, and he would claim that the "women" were in fact men in drag. "Utter rubbish" said Anthejets "there was nothing drag about those women! Does Pamela Anderson look like a drag queen to YOU?"

"The crunch came" Anthejets continued angrily "when he said he was going to a gay bar in Soho. I decided to follow him. I was shocked, completely shocked when I saw him go into a strip club - with women only dancers! As I walked in I saw him tuck a twenty pound note into a woman's thong. That was the twenty pound note I had given him for his birthday the year before. I snapped and confronted him. I asked him if he was straight, he denied it and that's when I decided enough was enough. I walked out of that strip club, pulled the twenty pound note from the stripper's thong as I left, and I never contacted Elton again."

Anthejets claims the only reason he is telling the world "the truth" is because he wants John to "finally face up to who he really is."

John declined to comment on Anthejets controversial statement, saying that his sexuality was his business and no-one else's. We think that means he's guilty as charged.

Make Bluebella's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

4 22 5 2
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top