WASHINGTON, DC - With Iraq sovereign and in negotiations for custody of Saddam Hussein, the Bush administration has been holding closed door discussions with film producer Jerry Bruckheimer and self proclaimed philanthropist/media mogul Ted Turner for a new film to combat Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11."
"This new movie's going to be a... ah... a do-over war movie - for the American people," President Bush said. "Mr. Moore has his story and I have mine. Y'all saw my first one with that great ending where I landed on that air... air... that air-force carrier. This new one's gonna be even better and it's gonna be clearly factual with lots of numbers in it... unlike last time. The future will be better tomorrow because of what we're going to accomplish... tomorrow... again."
When asked to comment, Moore noted, "I'm just happy for the success of my new movie. I forgot to thank my cast. So if I could do that now, I want to thank Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld. I thought the love scene between Cheney and Rumsfeld brought a tear to my eye. I would also like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate that poops his pants."