Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 27 April 2009

image for Miss Piggy Dies of Swine Flu
Miss Piggy lies in state, awaiting processing and smoking.

Miss Piggy, actress and star of television, stage, and screen, has become the first celebrity victim of the Swine Flu Epidemic. The 39 year old actress passed away at Hollywood Hills Hospital surrounded by family, friends, and a representative from Peyton's Meat Packing Plant.

Miss Piggy is survived by her late husband, Kermit the Frog. She was preceeded in death by her mother, who was a Cure 81 ham served for Thanksgiving dinner in Chicago in 1982, and her father, most famous for playing for his role as the bacon in a Burger King Bacon Double Cheeseburger commercial. Her brother, Leo, is currently a retired football that scored a touchdown in a Superbowl and is on the shelf of Emmitt Smith.

Her cousin, Porky Pig, will offer the eulogy at her funeral on Thursday. From the hospital media center, he offered the following statement: "P-P-P-Piggy was a really sweet g-g-g-g- lady. I hope that wherever she goes, her k-k-k-karate chops will be remembered as much as her p-p-p-p-pork chops."

It should be noted that Miss Piggy captained a NASA mission that became known as Pigs in Space. NASA will commemorate her service to the program with a space shuttle flyover and by cancelling the scheduled Pork Roast lunch in their cafeteria the day of the funeral.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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