They stink, they're rotting away, they look disgusting, they drool viscose black gunk and nobody in their right mind would ever want to sleep with one. They just aren't sexy. And yet...
Zombies have become the darlings of the literary, film, and political arenas because they represent everything that is wrong with modern life. Zombies are a mindless horde, bereft of all personality, confused beings lurching about in a world they don't understand.
A bit like the rest of us really.
"The zombie has come to represent the loss of individuality," film maker Flimflam Mann told us. "The zombie represents corruption and disempowerment, disease and decay. They're the perfect symbol for our time."
Zombie projects in the pipeline include 'Britney Spears Is Really A Zombie', 'Danny Baker Has Been Dead For Years', and 'Zombies What I Has Shagged by Russell Brand."
Zombie expert Dr Bruce Banner today confirmed that most zombies DO wear underpants.
More on zombies as we get it.