Written by Khadija
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Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for Shaheen Jafargholi should be thrown off 'Britain's Got Talent' for being a professional
Shaheen has appeared in the stage musical "Casper the Friendly Ghost- On Ice"

Shaheen Jafargholi 12 years 7 months, has been vilified by adults with nothing better to do with their lives, because he is actually a professional entertainer.

It's now emerged Shaheen 67, has appeared on Casualty, Torchwood and that classic CBBC drama 'Grandpa in my pocket and I just can't get no love'. The Michael Jackson voiced youngster, also attends the prestigious Mark Jermin Stage School and toured as Michael Jackson in the stage version of 'Thriller'.

Shaheen has also been rumoured to have played a young Lenny Henry, playing a young Othello in the 'Bilston Community Centre' Christmas pantomine.

Mr Danule Schmidt of the Netherlands ranted on EWE-TUBE for ten hours about the deceitful youngster "I saw him play a young Michael Jackson and an old Gary Coleman in the Netherlands. I was his biggest fan. When I saw him on BGT I was shocked, because he is such a big star on my bedroom walls. I did not want to share him with anyone."

Mrs Susan Boyle, 47 of West Lothian ( no relation) said "Ach the wee ladee should be given the birch as the programme is for amateurs like me - I mean other people, baby steps, baby steps'

Mrs Mary Whitehouse said " It is obviously another unreality ploy. Simon knew he could sing 'Michael Jackson's' songs as the young lad with the strange name had come dressed as Michael Jackson , with the moon-walking and the white glove and the chimp and Lizie Taylor and allegations of child abuse. To make it interesting they dressed him in normal clothes and pretended he was a kiddie off 'the street'- like 'Oliver Twist' you see, with a single-mum and things that make us sad. I know this because it's all in my head" said the crazy old nutter.

Simon Dowell 78, the worst actor in Britain admitted this to be true, citing he played a bigger part in the auditions than the public realise. Simon is thought to date all the contestants beforehand, taking each one to a cheapo 'slap up' meal and lap-dancing club - 'to break 'em in'. "No-one is a surprise to him when they walk on that stage" an insider said. "Do you think he would allow a bunch of talentless cranks on the stage to ruin his programme? One or two maybe, not thousands of nope hopers, he'd go bust!"

The editor of 'NowHeatOKHello' slagazine said " We are personally calling for Shaheen to be pulled off the stage by a large comedy cane hooking him around the neck. For appearing in 'Grandpa in my pocket and I just can't get no love' alone - his character was terrible and rather poorly acted".

A ten year old spokesman for BGT said " We have never said the competitors should be unknown or amateur. Simon Cowell is thinking of auditioning himself, he intends to do a few Pam Ayres poems and whack himself on the head with a tray, while singing 'Mule Train.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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