Written by The Shadow
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Britain's Got Talent babe Susan Boyle has been voted Most Attractive British Woman 2009.

The Scottish Singer who had recently amazed judges with her singing has found that Simon put her through the competition "purely on appearance- the singing was icing on the cake for me".

And its not only the men that have been impressed by the aging virgin.

Fellow judge Amanda Holden described her as "Textbook Eye Candy". Cheryl Cole, who works with Cowell on The X Factor also added "... all the girls want to look like Susan. In the running for attractive women, Susans prescence meant nobody else stood a chance. I really envy her."

Boyle's looks seem to have earned her an international status of fame. Barack Obama commented that if he hadn't married already, he'd have Boyle flown over to become his missus.

Boyle has taken this with modesty, despite having signed up to do a raunchy calendar in 2010. This is on top of persuing a singing career and a television career.

British PM Gordon Brown commented that "Boyle represents the exact beauty of Britain in this modern day and age- she is a credit to the nation and is likely to go on for years." Meanwhile, Wayne Rooney has clinched the Most Attractive British Male title for the fifth year running.

Gordon Brown added that "Its nice- as a Scot- to commend an attractive Scottish woman (Boyle) AND an attractive Scottish ogre- er, I mean football player".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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