Written by Morgan Truce
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Wednesday, 30 June 2004

image for Woody Allen: "I'm Worried... I Think I'm Pregnant!"
"...I practice a lot on my own."

Famous Dixieland musician and film director Woody Allen agreed to an interview with Spoof reporter, Morgan Truce while shooting the final scenes of his latest romantic comedy, "Memories of Rejection".

Woody Allen: "Are you sure that everything I tell you will be held in strictest confidence?"

Spoof: "Oh yes, Mr. Allen, you can trust me with your deepest secrets!"

Woody Allen: "Thanks. I've had a lot of trouble with reporters since I married Soon-Yi. You know, not everyone can appreciate the beauty of marrying the adopted daughter of my former lover."

Spoof: "Do you and Soon-Yi have a normal relationship?"

Woody Allen: "Well, you know I have a pretty rich fantasy life and Soon-Yi is working through the list I made for her. She's quite a great lover. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."

Spoof: "Does that cause a lot of problems between the two of you?"

Woody Allen: "To tell the truth, I've been practicing so much lately, I'm worried that I've gotten myself pregnant! I know that seems impossible, but for the last few weeks I feel like I'm about to give birth to a new daughter! It's very embarrassing!"

Spoof: "I can imagine."

Woody Allen: "I keep telling myself that it's all for the better... when I give birth to my daughter, I can raise her to be a replacement wife---for when Soon-Ye gets too old to cut the mustard."

Spoof: "Thank you very much, Mr. Allen."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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