Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 19 April 2009

image for Susan Boyle to sing: "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It"
"I love Susan Boyle. I just got to have her on board."

London, England - Never been kissed by a boy, the original 47-year-old, virgin, Susan Boyle, and singing sensation of "Britain's Got Talent" that thawed the subzero heart of Simon Cowell, has agreed to release her first single, a remake of Katy Perry's popular: "I kissed a girl and I liked it". The self-confessed 47-year-old virgin says she has kissed never been kissed by a boy, although she has had plenty of experience kissing girls all of her life.

When asked at a press conference why she decided on that song out of all the other she could have sung for her first single, Miss Boyle explained she chose the song because, as a virgin, it was one she could personally relate to.

"I don't know what it's like to kiss a boy. I've only kissed and been kissed girls all my life," said Miss Boyle at a press whose confession caused the seasoned reporters to collectively draw their breath and held it until Muss Boyle spoke again, explaining herself more clearly.

"I've kissed my mother, my sisters, my aunts and my cousins. All girls. Not a boy among them," continued Miss Boyle, as the veteran members of the media all sighed in relief.

Virgin Records, the record company that signed Miss Boyle to a one-year contract, said they were very impressed with her singing ability but most of all by the fact that she is still a virgin at age 47.

"We just had to sing her to a one year contract deal," said a spokesman for Virgin Records, openly admitting that are using Miss Boyle's virginity as a publicity stunt. "She is so...full...of talent. Her singing style is so...robust. No wonder she's still a virgin."

"I may not look like your typical Pop Star," said a confident Miss Boyle. "But what you see is what you get. And that's more than any Pop Star has ever given their fans."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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