Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Hollywood, Fat

Saturday, 18 April 2009

image for Sexy Starlets Turn to Lard
Most choose the Scoop or One Pound Brick

Hollywood - Lard injections and lard implants are the latest plastic surgery procedures to become popular in the city of the forever young.

"Lard has unfairly been neglected as a natural beauty agent" says leading plastic surgeon Dr. Victor Nicholas.

"Unlike silicone it is a natural animal fat and is easily accepted by the human body."

"Our clinic offers three different lard based breast augmentation sizes: the scoop, the one pound brick and the pail."

"Most clients select the scoop or the one pound brick, it depends on body type, self image and outcome of a one-on-one consultation meeting."

"We have not done the pail size yet though some say Jennifer Lopez has had it done to her buttocks."

"Some movie stars like Pamela Anderson have gone so far as to have all silicone implants removed and replaced with lard."

"Used topically it has greater anti-wrinkle properties than the leading beauty cream costing hundreds of dollars, and you can deep fry French fries in it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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