Written by Bureau
Print this
Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Lohan Says She's Looking For A Lover!

Lindsay Lohan is looking for a lover who does not mind her alleged alcoholism, bi-sexualism, being whipped with a paddle on the bare ass or licking her electronic monitoring bracelet and watching the sparks fly, or so the famously troubled Hollywood actress said in a what she claimed was a mock Internet dating profile.

Lohan, whose recent breakup with Samantha Ronson has been covered to death by the media, stars in an a dating profile posted online on Monday that parodies similar videos created for a matchmaking company.

"I would define my personality as creative, a bit of a night owl, crazy as a lake loon" Lohan says in the video.

"I'm a workaholic, a shopaholic, a sexaholic and according to the state of California, an alcoholic as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels," she says, with a perky smile.

Lohan, who is on probation, was briefly jailed in 2007 for a drunken driving and cocaine possession conviction. She had been arrested the previous May after wrecking her car in Beverly Hills and again in July following a car chase in the Los Angeles beach community of Santa Monica.

She was made to wear an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet, a fact that the actress jokingly mentions in her video, which features the jumpy camera work characteristic of dating profiles.

"We'll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day I promise you, I never lose my Google hits, just my underwear," the actress says in the video.

Some wonder how much of this is actually a parody, after all. Just check the headlines during past year.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 3?

2 7 6 1
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more