Lindsay Lohan is looking for a lover who does not mind her alleged alcoholism, bi-sexualism, being whipped with a paddle on the bare ass or licking her electronic monitoring bracelet and watching the sparks fly, or so the famously troubled Hollywood actress said in a what she claimed was a mock Internet dating profile.
Lohan, whose recent breakup with Samantha Ronson has been covered to death by the media, stars in an a dating profile posted online on Monday that parodies similar videos created for a matchmaking company.
"I would define my personality as creative, a bit of a night owl, crazy as a lake loon" Lohan says in the video.
"I'm a workaholic, a shopaholic, a sexaholic and according to the state of California, an alcoholic as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels," she says, with a perky smile.
Lohan, who is on probation, was briefly jailed in 2007 for a drunken driving and cocaine possession conviction. She had been arrested the previous May after wrecking her car in Beverly Hills and again in July following a car chase in the Los Angeles beach community of Santa Monica.
She was made to wear an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet, a fact that the actress jokingly mentions in her video, which features the jumpy camera work characteristic of dating profiles.
"We'll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day I promise you, I never lose my Google hits, just my underwear," the actress says in the video.
Some wonder how much of this is actually a parody, after all. Just check the headlines during past year.