Written by victor nicholas
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Tuesday, 14 April 2009

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Lowton's Picklweasel of the Month for April

Hollywood - Winsome starlet Lindsay Lohan had yet another brush with the law this weekend after police arrested her for possession, with intent to sell, of nude photos and film footage of media mogul Mark Lowton in an array of X-rated poses involving unnatural acts with pickleweasels and duct tape.

While Lindsay has had her share of legal battles some say she has crossed the line by getting involved with the seamy Lowton and his penchant for trafficking underage pickleweasels from Asia to lonely satire writers around the globe in return for services rendered.

Celebrity watchers say that this may signal the end of the line for the young actor's career.

Lohan's lawyer Larry Liesalot was quick to leap to defend Lindsay's livelihood.

"Alliteration be damned!"

"Nobody has ever seen Mark Lowton, possibly even Lowton himself as he may not even exist and if he did there can be no proof positive of identification with the black rectangle that blocks out his eyes on all pictures and footage."

"As far as pornography goes as far as I can see the person in question may indeed be nude but having seen the evidence action never goes beyond peering into a computer terminal and editing rubbish stories for TheSpoof.com."

"TheSpoof.com is not just a cover for Lowton's beastiality racket and I am not keeping the best stuff for myself."

Lohan later twittered that she "no longer trusts her lawyer since taking on defense of Vince the ShamWOW! guy."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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